birrul_walidayn_en.mp3

Being dutiful to parents and the age of forty

marriage_advice_en.mp3

Marriage advice for a sister whose parents reject righteous spouses

night_prayer_home_en.mp3

Difference between Taraweeh and Qiyamul Layl

advise_to_young_brother_en.mp3

Seeking knowledge in Muslim countries vs Non Muslim countries

dealing_with_heedless_parents_en.mp3

Difference between advising parents who are upon innovation and fighting and disrespecting them

Who is responsible for taking care of the mother's needs ? Sons or daughters ?

<blockquote>Question:</blockquote><blockquote>a) For a single mother , who is the one responsible for taking care of her needs ? Should it be her sons or daughters ?</blockquote><blockquote>b) What if she is working , does this make the sons or daughters free from their responsibilities towards her ? Jazakallahu khayran . </blockquote> <h3>Answer </h3> وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم تسليما كثيرا أما بعد : Allah سبحانه وتعالى said in Surat al Israa’, Verse 23 : وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًاAnd your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. and in Aayah 24 from the same Surah : وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًاAnd lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.” And He عز وجل also said in Surat al Ahzaab , Verse 6 : النَّبِيُّ أَوْلَى بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ مِنْ أَنْفُسِهِمْ وَأَزْوَاجُهُ أُمَّهَاتُهُمْ وَأُولُو الْأَرْحَامِ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلَى بِبَعْضٍ فِي كِتَابِ اللَّهِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُهَاجِرِينَ إِلَّا أَنْ تَفْعَلُوا إِلَى أَوْلِيَائِكُمْ مَعْرُوفًا كَانَ ذَلِكَ فِي الْكِتَابِ مَسْطُورًا“The Prophet is closer to the believers than their ownselves, and his wives are their (believers’) mothers (as regards respect and marriage). And blood relations among each other have closer personal ties in the Decree of Allah (regarding inheritance) than (the brotherhood of) the believers and the Muhajirun (emigrants from Makkah, etc.), except that you do kindness to those brothers (when the Prophet SAW joined them in brotherhood ties). This has been written in the (Allah’s Book of Divine) Decrees (AlLauh AlMahfuz).” And in the Hadith of Abu Huraira رضي الله عنه in As-Sahihain : جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال : يا رسول الله ، من أحق الناس بحسن صحابتي ؟ قال : ( أمك ) . قال : ثم من ؟ قال : ( ثم أمك ) . قال : ثم من ؟ قال : ( ثم أمك ) . قال : ثم من ؟ قال أبوك“A person came to Allah’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: Who among the people is most deserving my companionship (of a kind treatment from me?) He said: Your mother. He, again, said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: It is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: It is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he (The Prophet (peace be upon him)) said: It is your father”. And also in the Hadith narrated by Abdullah Ibnu Amr رضي الله عنه that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said : ……أنت ومالك لوالدك / لأبيك ……… “You and your money belong to your parents” and this Hadith is Hasan (good). From these evidences it is understood how much the children should take care of their mother and take care of her needs and it is Wajib on both the daughter and the son as much as they are able to. Moreover, the Ulemaa said that the responsibility on the children depends on their abilities. If they really can’t help , we say لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا وسعها Allah does not burden any soul except that which it can bear . However , they really ought to try their best in this matter as it is Wajib . Also the answer depends on whether the mother has a need for the help from her children or not. If she is working but her income is not enough for her , then the ruling is as above. However, if she is working and does not have much needs from her children, then it is lighter on her children, but still they are not free from their responsibilities towards her. It may also depend on the Urf (customs and traditions) within the family. Nevertheless , the children should always maintain Silatur Rahim (ties of the womb) especially with the mother , whether she is working or not. If she is working and able to support herself then they could still maintain Silatur Rahim by helping her in her daily tasks and satisfying her other needs . And Allah عز وجل knows best .

Should she obey her husband or parents ?

وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

The extent to which the children are obliged to obey their parents is the extent that does not contradict the Shariah since there is no obedience to the creations whilst disobeying the Creator . The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said as in the Hadith of Ibn Umar رضي الله عنه in Al-Bukhari and Muslim ( So if anyone is commanded to disobey Allah عز وجل , then he neither hears nor obeys ) .

As for obedience to her husband , it takes precedence over obedience to her parents according to the evidence from the Qur’an and the Sunnah   قال الله  تعالى : ( الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِم )  " Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence .. " 

And Allah عز وجل knows best


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